


Link is a Bulbasaur Bitch

by crackficswithfriends



Series: crack fics 2.0 [4]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pokemon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackficswithfriends/pseuds/crackficswithfriends
Summary: Link loves his Bulbasaurs. Zelda's beginning to think she may be in for more than she bargained for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thanks misty and gary for this beautiful fic

Pokemon AU, person A is pokemon breeder, person B is a trainer. Person A as a cute garden for grass types, person B jumps the fence to catch a bulbasaur

 

Link hiyaaaa somersaults, person A

Zelda intense was ninja can play harp, person B

 

Link spent his days in peace in the countryside outside of Lavender Town, breeding pokemon (as you do) and squeeing over all the bulbasaurs in his backyard. Link was a Bulbasaur Bitch™. His garden of bulbasaurs was his pride and joy. Literally he had no other accomplishments. His only skill besides pokemon breeding was his fantastic somersaulting ability and how passionately he could yell “hiya!”.

 

It was a fine summer evening and Link was just hanging out in his little house, doing flips n shit, when he felt a disturbance in The Force coming from his garden.

 

Link was spooked for his beloved pokemon and quickly somersaulted out of the house, ready to defend the pokemans with his life.

 

“Hiyaaa!” he screamed.

 

“The fuck?” came the reply.

 

Link was confusion. His bulbasaur were impressive but they couldn’t talk so where was that voice coming from?

 

“Aa _ a _ yaaa _ aa _ h?” he asked, which translated to  _ what the fuck?  _ His vision turned into a scope and  **Target Locked** flashed across his eyes as he stared at the person who was  _ in his garden _ .

 

The stranger eyed him angrily. “Go back inside you weirdo, I saw these bulbasaur first. They’re  _ mine _ .”

 

That was thewrong thing to say. Link cherished his pokemon above all else. He had raised his tiny bulbasaur babes from eggs and some  _ asshat  _ had the audacity to try to claim them? Over his dead body!

 

Of course, the pokemon breeder didn’t say any of this because I had originally been mislead to believe he didn’t talk and so now I’m running with it. Instead he expressed his anguish by yelling “AaGHaghaaaGHHGHGH,” and charging at the intruder, scooping a pot from the side of his house as he did so.

 

The intruder was surprised by his screaming and FREAKED OUT and grabbed one of LINK’S BULBASAURS AS A SHIELD THAT HOE

 

Link, in an attempt to save his pokemon, threw the pot at the lady’s legs and it went SMASH!!

 

The stranger--who is Zelda btw since I don’t think I’ll have the chance to name before I wrap this up--was thrown off balance and fell forwards, crushing the poor bulbasaur beneath her.

 

“atdGDREASJHbduyH!!!” Link screamed, because he was concorned for his babay pokemon son.

 

“adhduerjfnlkjk\jKJUHJh” Zelda screamed, because she was concearned for her life as the anger man charged at her.

 

Link tossed her off of the bulbasaur and cried over the injured bulbasaur’s fainted body.

 

_ This bitch is cray-cray,  _ thought Zelda from her spot on the uncomfy dirt.  _ Maybe I’ll just come back and steal his pokemon when he’s gone. _

 

Zelda decided that, yes,that was a v safe plan and so she scrambled up and before the man could attack her again, she hopped his fence and ran off again.  _ I’ll get dem pokemon, even if it’s da last thing I do.” _

 

Link knew this meant war and was ready to kill.

  
He loved his pokemon :)


End file.
